My experiences VERY much mirror yours.

Blew my mind that basically the only way to learn to manage is to manage, you are going to be an absolutely mediocre if not terrible manager for *years* until you finally "get it" (took me about 5 years before I considered myself "OK"). There's no really good resources, other than like Steve McConnell's books. Half the stuff you said as an IC, "if I ever become a manager, I never will..." turns out to be the right way to do it.

Never mind the feelings of isolation and loneliness, as an IC, hanging out with the team after work or getting friendly was great, as a manager it can be deadly, especially if you are closer to one person than others (even more so if everyone knows it).

And the pressures... good gracious. You're the one throat everyone wants to choke.

I personally think I made the right decision, I *love* being a technical manager despite what I'm writing here, and I have a great track record at it at this point. But I was NOT ready for it, not everyone who wants it will be good at it, lots of folks who end up there don't want it, and I really wish there was a way for ICs to continue growing their income without becoming managers.

J.Ja